All-or-Nothing Thinking

As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that I suffer from all-or-nothing thinking. A friend of mine once told me that I was a perfectionist, and I laughed until she explained that I was the type of perfectionist who completely gave up trying at all if I couldn't do it perfectly.

What a bondage! Perfection or nothing at all...and so I ended up doing nothing at all, seemingly giving up while anger and frustration seethed deep inside.

This thinking has affected every area of my life, keeping me from trying new things (if I can't do it right the first time, I wasn't going to do it at all), keeping me from being myself with people I didn't know well (hey, if they don't know who I really am, their rejection won't mean as much), keeping the house clean (it didn't stay clean, and I was easily overwhelmed so it was easier to ignore it than to fight what seemed to be a losing battle), and more obviously, this thinking kept me from living a healthy life.

All or nothing...I didn't give myself room to make mistakes, to recover from those mistakes and move on, learning from them. I buried my anger and disappointment in food and an attitude of "why bother?" It wouldn't make a difference anyway.

Over the past few years I've slowly been learning to let go of this and to take those risks and make mistakes. The truth is, I don't have to be perfect to be liked, and even to be loved. I simply need to do my best and give myself grace when I mess up.

Applying this truth to my physical health is giving me the room to live my life and the freedom to make those healthy choices.

I found this article on About.com's Weight Loss Channel. I found it to be extremely helpful and hope it's the same for you :)

5 Steps to Banish All-or-Nothing Thinking
Take the middle ground when it comes to losing weight.
By Jennifer R. Scott, About.com

When you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it's easy to fall into all-or-nothing thinking ...

You rationalize: 1. ) You have to follow a super-strict diet to succeed and/or 2.) If you fall off the wagon and eat junk for a day or two, you've blown it altogether.

This train of thought can be very detrimental to your weight loss efforts, but it's all too easy to fall into. So what's a "loser" to do?

Step One: Loosen Up
The first way to avoid all-or-nothing thinking is to shake the idea that you must follow an extremely restrictive diet to lose weight.

The fact is, most people who successfully maintain weight loss don't diet. They make healthy, permanent lifestyle changes, such as cutting back on calories, practicing portion control, and reigning in emotional eating.

Successful "losers" focus on weight management, not just weight loss.

Step Two: Give In... Just a Little
Severely limiting your food intake or completely cutting out your favorite foods sets you up to binge. Temptation becomes much less powerful when you can have just a taste of something "bad" now and again instead of telling yourself it's off limits for good.

This can be daunting at first. But you will become accustomed to satisfying your craving with a smaller amount of your trigger foods and you'll learn "when to say when".

Step Three: Stop Saying the "D Word"
We "go on" and "go off" diets after every holiday season; we say "I start my Monday." only to be off it by the weekend. Nobody says "I start my new way of life Monday." But that's exactly what we need to do. An effective diet isn't just for Christmas, it's for life.

To find a way-of-eating that works for the long haul, be leery of any plan that restricts entire food groups or that relies on one type of food (e.g. soup, pre-prepared entrees) as its mainstay.

We need variety not only for nutritional reasons, but also to satisfy ourselves. Believe me, because I've been there: Go on a diet that requires you to eat foods you don't like -- or completely omits your favorites -- and you will eventually dread every meal.

Step Four: Forgive Yourself
So ... you've decided to give Step Two a try and allow yourself your favorite treat, chocolate chip cookies. But you don't stop at a couple ... you eat half the package. Then, for breakfast tomorrow morning ... you polish off the other half.

Have you completely blown your diet again? Does that mean it’s time to give up altogether? Do you think, "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this." and go back to old eating habits?

Not allowing yourself to make mistakes is the worst mistake you can make. Seriously.

Here's some food for thought: All-or-nothing thinking is a way to let yourself off the hook. It's an escape route. ("Oh, now I've screwed up. Glad I don't have to bother anymore".).

There's an old saying that goes, "No matter how far along you are down the wrong path, it's never too late to turn back.". So don't think just because you made bad choices today, you can't start over tomorrow.

It sounds trite, but every day truly is a new beginning. You can't erase last night’s binge, but you can aim for a much healthier today!

Step 5: Celebrate Small Victories
Go ahead: Praise yourself for the small challenges you surmount; you won't give up so easily if you do.

Yes, choosing 2-percent over whole milk is a victory. Doing an exercise video on Friday is a triumph, even if it’s the first day you've exercised this week.

Take it easy on yourself as you're learning how to be a new, improved, healthier you. After all, you're only human... a soon-to-be-much-lighter human!

Introducing....

our new kitten, The Mighty Diesel Thunderpurr!   So named because his loud purr is remiscent of a diesel engine :)  We'll be calling him Diesel.

I don't have any photos handy, but here are a couple of videos:

I hope you enjoy his antics as much as we do :)

Moving Forward

It's been a difficult couple of weeks dealing with Riley being sick and then having him put to sleep. I put my focus on following South Beach, exercising and blogging aside so I could spend time with Riley and then give myself room to mourn his loss.

Friday evening I went to look at a kitten and ended up taking him home with me. He's an adorable little guy, still nameless as my husband and I debate different names, but we're getting closer :)

I still miss my Riley, but this kitten is helping to ease that loss and bring my focus onto the present. I know this might sound a bit extreme to some of you, but Riley was that one special pet so many people dream of having, my loyal and loving companion. I'd had him since he was 3 weeks old, and he bonded with me as his mom. He would sleep on my back at night, lay on the computer desk in front of me when I was online, come running when I called him, play fetch with me, sit at my feet and meow at me to pick him up and then let me carry him around the house as he observed everything from this new vantage point with a lively curiousity and intelligence. He would begin to purr the moment I touched him, and when I came home he would almost always come to greet me. Riley was sweet-natured, loving, playful, curious, intelligent, soft and cuddly, gentle, and so affectionate with me. He really was my baby cat, and a true gift of love from God.

My husband and I are having a time of it trying to come up with a name for the new kitten, but we'll find one eventually.

I began walking again last night after work, and will be continuing to walk on a daily basis at least 5 times a week. As soon as we get our living room uncluttered this weekend, I'm going to begin the core exercises outlined in "Never Say Diet" by Chantel Hobbs, using an exercise ball. I'll begin doing those 2-3 times a week for 20 minutes a day.

I haven't done too poorly with healthy eating choices, but I wasn't following my plan very closely. I allowed myself some less healthy choices here and there, and am actually quite pleased that as of today I'm at 233.2 lbs! That's great news, all things considered :)

I do have some recipe reviews which I'll be posting in a few days, as well as an article I've found about how pets contribute to our emotional and mental well-being. Yep, they're part of a healthy life as well!

A Sad Day

We had to have Riley put to sleep this morning.  He was unable to walk and seemed to be in pain.  I'm going to miss my little cat so much!

Beloved Riley
May 1999 - July 8, 2009
My gift of love from God

My husband purchased this memorial photo frame from the pet cemetery where we had Riley buried:

A Rainbow of Color

One of the joys of healthy eating is the wide variety of colorful and healthy foods. Nothing is more appealing than a plate filled with nutritious brown rice, colorful vegetables and a lean meat cooked in a light sauce, then covered with a light sprinkle of sesame seeds....mmmmmm!

A wide variety of colorful foods is essential for a healthy diet, and as this article shows, it's easy to do.

The Color Me Happy Diet
How can you make sure you're eating a balanced diet? Forget frantically calculating the relative benefits of bananas, tomatoes, spinach, and kale. Just think in technicolor. The compounds that give fruits and vegetables their color also have unique nutritional properties, so by eating a wide array of colors, you can maximize these benefits. A colorful diet protects your body against a multitude of ailments: cancer, heart disease, arthritis, and vision loss, among others. Here's a handy color-coded food guide:

Raging Red
Fruits with a red hue, such as tomatoes, guava, and papaya, contain lycopene, a reddish pigment and nutrient. Large studies indicate that this substance protects against a variety of cancers, including that of the prostate, stomach, and lung. As an antioxidant, lycopene protects cell structures and DNA against the nefarious effects of free radicals—small particles that damage healthy cells and allow tumor cells to develop. Indeed, one study in Nutrition and Cancer showed that lycopene was better than two other antioxidants—alpha and beta carotene—at stopping uterine, breast, and lung cancer cells from developing in test tubes.

Orange Crush
Carrots, mangoes, apricots, pumpkins, and sweet potatoes, are brimming with cryptoxanthin and beta-carotene—two substances that reduce the risk for a variety of mental and physical ailments. For example, cryptoxanthin protects against arthritis and cancer, while beta-carotene keeps the mind sharp. In a 2005 study from the Archives of Internal Medicine, cryptoxanthin protected individuals from developing rheumatoid arthritis, even as other antioxidants did not; other studies suggest it reduces risk for lung cancer. Beta-carotene, for its part, kept cognition and memory from declining in a group of doctors who took part in an 18-year study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.

Green Giants
Spinach, salad, and other leafy vegetables protect the eyes and the heart, among other important body parts. Lutein and zeaxanthin, two nutrients found in these foods, keep us from going blind by reducing the risk of cataracts in old age. Even better are the effects that greens have on the heart. For every daily serving you eat, you reduce your risk for heart disease by 11 percent, found a study published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute. Leafy greens also contain vitamins A and C, which help keep the body from creating oxidized cholesterol—the stuff that sticks in the arteries and clogs them.

Healthy Shade of Berry
The dark red-purple hues of berries, beets, and purple cabbages are derived from anthocyanins. These prevent tumor growth and may have anti-inflammatory properties that reduce pain from arthritis and protect against heart disease. Even in individuals undergoing cancer treatment, berries may be helpful—there is some evidence they aid in chemotherapy by diminishing cancer cells' ability to survive the onslaught of poison contained in anti-cancer drugs, noted Navindra Seeram, MD, in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry.

Full of Brown Beans
Although not technically fruits or vegetables, beans can play an important role in maintaining a healthy diet. Lentils, black beans, and chickpeas are an excellent source of folate, a B vitamin that helps to prevent damage to arteries by reducing homocysteine. Homocysteine, an amino acid, can cause harm to arteries and allow clots to form more easily, which in turn ups the risk for heart disease, heart attack, and stroke. By reducing blood levels of homocysteine, folate keeps blood vessels pristine.

and some excerpts from this article: Nature's Bounty: Color-Coding Your Menu:

The foods you eat every day—fruits and veggies, meats and meat substitutes, dairy products and bread—all contain vital nutrients that contribute to a healthy diet. But some—particularly, deeply colored fruits and veggies—are superstars. Not only are such foods rich in nutrients needed in specific amounts, they also contain phytochemicals and other functional ingredients for which no minimum amount has yet been established.

Your best bet is to think: color. The natural color of a food can be a reliable indicator of the vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients it supplies. For example, dark green veggies such as broccoli, spinach, and sugar snap peas are high in vitamin C. Red, yellow, and orange fruits and vegetables such as carrots, sweet peppers, and sweet potatoes are known for their high beta carotene, or vitamin A, content, but they can also be rich in vitamin C.

White fruits and veggies, like mushrooms, potatoes, and bananas, supply B vitamins and many minerals, while white dairy products—milk, yogurt,cheese—provide ample amounts of calcium (and are usually fortified with vitamin D).

Purplish-blue foods, like grapes and blueberries, are best known for their anticancer and heart-helping antioxidants. But like most other fruits and vegetables, they are also high in vitamin C and fiber.

Brown foods in the form of grains, nuts, and seeds supply vitamins E and B, which include folic acid. Brown and white foods like meat, fish, poultry, tofu, and legumes stand out as defining sources of protein and minerals like iron and zinc.

The more colors you toss into your shopping cart, the better chance you have of meeting all your nutritional needs. Choose a variety of superstars from every food group—mangoes and blueberries from the fruit group; spinach, broccoli, and potatoes from vegetables; oatmeal, wheat germ, and a multigrain roll from the grains; skim milk and yogurt from dairy; salmon and lentils from the protein group—all packed into a single day.

Riley Update

It looks like Riley may have fatty liver disease. It's not fatal as long as we can get him to eat. Taht's not been easy, however, because he has no appetite and little interest in eating.

I've resorted to buying baby food and am spooning it onto his mouth so he'll lick it off.  We're getting some food into him that way.

Thankfully he's still drinking.

Your thoughts, prayers and kind words are appreciated.  This is my baby cat, and I love him so much.  It's been hard on me this last week, and I'm taking somewhat of a break from walking and disciplined eating.  I'm not going overboard with poor choices, but I'm giving myself some leeway.

Riley will be going back to the vet this next Saturday, so hopefully I'll have good news then.

Update

It's been a couple of days since I posted.  I've been doing ok with my eating, not so consistent with my exercise, and it's pretty much due to stress. 

My beloved cat Riley is sick, and I'm afraid this is it for him.  My sweet husband is taking him to the vet tomorrow morning as Riley hasn't improved much at all, and I'm prepared for the worst.  I'm hoping for the best, though.

I'm so thankful for my husband...Riley has been in my life for over 10 years, and he's that one special pet of a lifetime.  We bonded when I found him at 3 weeks old, and he's my baby cat.  He's been with me through so much and has always been such a sweet and delightful companion.  I can't face taking him to the vet and hearing bad news, so my husband is doing that for me.  If this is the worst, my husband has promised to hold Riley and love on him while he's being put to sleep.  That's a huge comfort to me.  I know my husband loves Riley and will make his last moments full of love.

I won't be walking tonight, just in case.  I plan to spend as much time as I can with my baby cat, holding him and loving on him.  I've done so much crying over the thought of this the last few days, and I'm tearing up now.

If this is the end of the road for Riley, my husband and I are going to have him buried at a local pet cemetary in their country garden area.  I've never wanted to do this for any other pet, but Riley deserves this.  If we owned a house, I'd bury Riley in the backyard, but we rent, so that's not an option.

I'll be back posting tomorrow with news one way or the other.